Could use a couple prayers.
Oct 2, 2010 6:18:25 GMT -5
Post by cfvickers on Oct 2, 2010 6:18:25 GMT -5
First and formost, My mother needs prayer. She is a faithful Christian and I know she will appreciate it. She has been having a problem with her stomach for about 6 weeks, so her doctor thought it was her gall bladder and they brought her in to do whatever it is they do to check it. On one hand her gall bladder seemed fine, but in the process the found 2 or 3 spots on her liver that they are going to have to check out in the coming week or so. The doctor said it is entirely possible that it is nothing, but it could just as easily be serious. I know that if it is the lords will, even if it is something serious, he can make it nothing by the time she gets it looked at. Prayers for her health would be deeply appreciated. I would very much like for her to have a chance to watch my girls grow up. She is only 57 and if it is God's will, I would like to keep her around.
Now my issue, which isn't nearly as serious but an issue none the less.
I don't lead on to it much, even to those who know me best. But I am going through a bit of a rough internal struggle. It isn't anything compared to the struggles some deal with. I don't drink or do drugs, I don't even worry about chasing women since the divorce. I go to work, take college classes and most importantly take care of my girls. I have joint custody of my own two daughters where all responsibilities and time are shared equally between myself and their mother. My ex has even given me the same rights to the daughter she already had when we were married. Emma has called me daddy and seen me as her daddy as long as she can remember. She knows her biological father and even still says that I am her real daddy. He is a decent guy but his father never was much of a father to him, and he too was for the most part raised by a stepfather. Maybe he believes this is how it should be. But at any rate, that is just a short back ground. My daughters are 5, 3, and 2. I hope noone looks down on me for having such a short marriage, I never intended to divorce, never thought I would, but a man must draw a line somewhere and she crossed it. I have forgiven her for the things she did, and we get along like good friends now, I just don't think I could ever trust her again.
I started college just before we split until July of last year I had never even considered anything in the medical field but I wanted to go to school and I had my GI bill that needed to be used before the time ran out. so after looking into about every other profession and degree program I could find information on I decided to work toward a BS in Nursing. Now I am struggling with my classes just because I am very short of extra time. Yet I sincerely feel like the lord is telling me nursing isn't what he had in mind. I had the medical field right, but I sincerely believe He is telling me I am supposed to be a doctor of some variety. I say He is telling me this because I also honestly never have had any desire what so ever to be a doctor, and I have no idea how I will ever pull it off. When I have the extra time to put into my classes I do quite well, but given my previous record of lack of achievement in school classes (I did graduate high school but I never took my education seriously before now and I did the bare minimum to get by) I may never get accepted to any med schoolin the first place, and even still it will be a good ways off before I am ready for that. I just can't tell if I am misinterpreting something or if I am really supposed to do this. I have no want for serious financial gain, I want to be able to afford to send my girls to college, and eventually buy the house I live in now, aside from that I don't have ambitions of making a million. I am very happy with who I am and not ashamed of much that I do, personally I would be content with any amount of income that allows me to do the two things I have mentioned above. But something keeps telling me to switch gears and do something that is far and away more difficult and will take a significant amount of time away that I would otherwise be spending with my kids. I would have no issue with it if I didn't feel like they stood a risk of suffering. So would you guys pray for me that I may figure out what the lord really wants for me to do that I may do His will and in doing so find a balance that will allow me to be the daddy to my girls that they deserve and I so very much want to continue to be. I am so torn right now I don't know which way is up. I have never felt any desire to embark on anything lie this but I really believe this is what the Lord wants me to do. I just don't know how.
If you read all the way through this I thank you. You may be thinking it sounds foolish, but frankly it sounds foolish to me as well.
Please keep my mother, myself and my daughters in your prayers, I really could use all of the prayer I can get.
Now my issue, which isn't nearly as serious but an issue none the less.
I don't lead on to it much, even to those who know me best. But I am going through a bit of a rough internal struggle. It isn't anything compared to the struggles some deal with. I don't drink or do drugs, I don't even worry about chasing women since the divorce. I go to work, take college classes and most importantly take care of my girls. I have joint custody of my own two daughters where all responsibilities and time are shared equally between myself and their mother. My ex has even given me the same rights to the daughter she already had when we were married. Emma has called me daddy and seen me as her daddy as long as she can remember. She knows her biological father and even still says that I am her real daddy. He is a decent guy but his father never was much of a father to him, and he too was for the most part raised by a stepfather. Maybe he believes this is how it should be. But at any rate, that is just a short back ground. My daughters are 5, 3, and 2. I hope noone looks down on me for having such a short marriage, I never intended to divorce, never thought I would, but a man must draw a line somewhere and she crossed it. I have forgiven her for the things she did, and we get along like good friends now, I just don't think I could ever trust her again.
I started college just before we split until July of last year I had never even considered anything in the medical field but I wanted to go to school and I had my GI bill that needed to be used before the time ran out. so after looking into about every other profession and degree program I could find information on I decided to work toward a BS in Nursing. Now I am struggling with my classes just because I am very short of extra time. Yet I sincerely feel like the lord is telling me nursing isn't what he had in mind. I had the medical field right, but I sincerely believe He is telling me I am supposed to be a doctor of some variety. I say He is telling me this because I also honestly never have had any desire what so ever to be a doctor, and I have no idea how I will ever pull it off. When I have the extra time to put into my classes I do quite well, but given my previous record of lack of achievement in school classes (I did graduate high school but I never took my education seriously before now and I did the bare minimum to get by) I may never get accepted to any med schoolin the first place, and even still it will be a good ways off before I am ready for that. I just can't tell if I am misinterpreting something or if I am really supposed to do this. I have no want for serious financial gain, I want to be able to afford to send my girls to college, and eventually buy the house I live in now, aside from that I don't have ambitions of making a million. I am very happy with who I am and not ashamed of much that I do, personally I would be content with any amount of income that allows me to do the two things I have mentioned above. But something keeps telling me to switch gears and do something that is far and away more difficult and will take a significant amount of time away that I would otherwise be spending with my kids. I would have no issue with it if I didn't feel like they stood a risk of suffering. So would you guys pray for me that I may figure out what the lord really wants for me to do that I may do His will and in doing so find a balance that will allow me to be the daddy to my girls that they deserve and I so very much want to continue to be. I am so torn right now I don't know which way is up. I have never felt any desire to embark on anything lie this but I really believe this is what the Lord wants me to do. I just don't know how.
If you read all the way through this I thank you. You may be thinking it sounds foolish, but frankly it sounds foolish to me as well.
Please keep my mother, myself and my daughters in your prayers, I really could use all of the prayer I can get.